mandy12052: (flower)
Clearing away the detritus on my cork board in preparation for transfer I came across this poem, and it made me pensive. Oh the people we were, and the people we've become. The memory of this description is still so vivid for me, and I often wonder whether I still hold such allure so many years later.

Transcribed below from a printout:
A Miracle
(for Mandy Peck)
by Miko

Amongst others that I've completely missed,
Or forgotten, or felt at least for a moment and selfishly
Abandoned in preference of blame and angst

I met you tonight, and wanted to wake up upon realization
Of what you did for me -

Tonight, you walked by, and I remembered that,
I couldn't keep my eyes from you,
And you came so to our table,
Continuing to sit while we became

Green and white and orange, and another color -
I do forget,
Sumerian symbols of our stars
And the hunger for transcribing something other
Than ourselves,
The cuts of your eyes and their particular slants
That feminize the difficult and masculate the effortless
Sitting with you kept me on the edge
Of my breath,
And you were so golden
About being alive,
I wanted to take you away right there,
Maybe to the peak of Sandia,
Or, to the next moment we were to have...

A month ago I write this, and at the same moment,
I've done only one thing in my life for the full
Cycle of our Viscous Moon,
And wanted to include you
In my effort to share a life.
mandy12052: (jiji)
The first of the things I'm sharing is both silly, and exciting. It's mostly for [ profile] lotuschild03, because we talked about this once. I think [ profile] yayforninjas would probably be entertained as well. God only knows where I got the photocopy of these, but it was probably from a Spanish class I took in junior high school. I wish I was savvy enough to know how to get the sort of font this paper has, because it makes it all the more entertaining to look at, but alas.

I think maybe you're getting close to guessing what this is all about, aren't ya? Oh, and I'm putting it all behind a cut because it's long. Also, I'm copying the spelling exactly as it appears on the page, because some of it is... wrong but funny to me.

Canciones para la clase de español )

Tee hee.

"This News Update brought to you by Spanish Folk Songs®. You're listening to KMND: Mandy Radio, where it's 'All Mandy, All the Time.' Thanks for tuning in."
mandy12052: (Default)

I found a sexy lady to sing to you!
mandy12052: (katie)
My friends page is awesome... It entertains me ever so.

[ profile] julian_wolf invited people for a meme that actually seemed worth trying out.
[ profile] jarmon posted a video from an artist I really enjoy.
[ profile] luvcraft posted an awesome "Look Around You" version of how motorcycles are made... and then [ profile] darkneuro mentioned wanting to purchase one. The synchronicity is grand!
And [ profile] barjack reminded us all just how BIG [ profile] pvck's veins can be.


Now I'm just stuck figuring out something fun I've done for $20 or less that didn't involve food/coffee and people (because I'd like to think I do more than that in my spare time, sparse though it may be) so that I can make the suggestion to [ profile] catblade.

Anyhoo... the combination of caffeine and homework beckons. Toodloo!
mandy12052: (Default)
You gets a video.

Because I am video posting fiend today.
mandy12052: (Default)
I give you a bigger, better Birthday Song!

Complete with nightmare trees, flying babies, and more!!!


Sep. 9th, 2007 05:22 pm
mandy12052: (Default)
Happy Birthday [ profile] pixie_of_spite!!!!

Have a song... because I love it!

mandy12052: (jiji)
Happy Birthday [ profile] _beren_ and [ profile] killbox!!!
mandy12052: (Default)
To Whom It May Concern:

I just wanted to say that I took mild offense to the comments you made recently.
While you said them in a heartfelt manner, I regard your sentiments otherwise. I have every right to dream and speculate, and I don't appreciate your belittling and unfounded doubts. I may never say anything on the subject to the person in question, and I find your negative opinions unnecessary. I liken your comments to something bordering on mockery, and don't appreciate them at all. Once again, I feel treated like a child. Even if you disagree with my analysis of the situation, I don't think any naivete I might have regarding human relationships or the ways of the world would apply to this situation.


This is completely unrelated to any comments made here on the good ol' LJ. It regards a different issue entirely. And thanks to [ profile] killbox for pointing out that there was a possibility that this might be misconstrued as relating to this post.
mandy12052: (presea)
By the way, Happy Birthday [ profile] ikeru!!!! I almost forgot to mention it.
mandy12052: (flower)
He'll be working for some government contract thing, which means he doesn't have the fortune of being an infantry soldier. However, he'll still probably be spending a good deal of time in the red zone. He's one of my closest friends. I've known him for about five years now. I dunno how I feel about this whole thing, but he's excited.

mandy12052: (kiss)
I haven't been that drunk in a while. Like I was last night I mean. I don't think I've been that drunk and not puked since [ profile] enthralled323's 21st birthday party, and that was a long long time ago. I'm sure there have probably been more recent occurences, but that was the event that came to mind to me as a comparison last night. But grazie to the people who bought things for me despite the fact. This is one of those moments when I remember why it is I don't do shots when drinking other things.

Mixed drinks+shots+short period of time=Very drunk Mando who does naughty/promiscuous things in public places.

So yeah... Many thanks to [ profile] intravenousants for taking care of me in my inebriated state, and giggling at me all the while.
P.S. Don't let me do that again, though I doubt I'll let myself have that much to drink for a while.

Even more confusing to me is that I only slept for about three hours, and still have managed to maintain my previous claims as the "I never get hangovers" girl.

mandy12052: (white)
One of the few things I dislike about my job is that between the hours of 1AM and 3AM there is virtually nothing to do. I mean, by this time of night even the crazy people who have been yelling for the first 6 hours I was here have fallen asleep. What this translates to is as follows:

I go out for frequent smoke breaks (or what seems like it considering I'm owning alloted two 15-minute breaks and a 30-minute lunch) and get so bored that I start contemplating the many insignificant occurrences that always manage to come along in my rather dull and mostly normal life. Things like the people I used to date, or why I'm not doing more with my art, or why I haven't managed to call that one person in my spare time but always remember that I should call them at hours when I know they won't be awake. That, and I spend a lot of time surfing the net. Which in "mandyland" actually translates to checking my emails and reading livejournal.

Speaking of livejournal... I find it funny how many people are on my friends list that I don't really read anymore. As few people as I actually read I ought just search them individually and save myself the trouble of all the scrolling I end up doing. But see, that would take thought. I mean, it's a toss up who I read to be truthful (with the exception of a chosen few). And as far as purging my friends list goes, that would require an level of contemplation equal to the other method that I am far too lazy to go through with.

The irony here is that in the midst of all this I consider obtuse concepts like theology and astronomy. Anthropology, sociology, psychology, and so on.

I guess I'm just way too fuckin' weird.

Or maybe I need to find some way to hack the systems around here and load a chat client to entertain myself. Wait, that just circulates back to the issue regarding the fact that all the people I would talk to right now are asleep. Fuck.
mandy12052: (wing girl)
So I'm not at work tonight so that I can get my homework done. I was shocked that they didn't get angry with me or anything. I did get phone numbers so I could try and call people to work for me, but they either didn't answer or couldn't. So yeah. Not working. I feel much less stressed since I actually have ample time to do my homework. Yay time.

Took a break to go down to kelly's for a pint. Actually found a beer that I can stand. Hoorah for apricot ale.
Oh yeah, and the most important thing: Happy Hip Day to [ profile] killbox!!! Woot.

Ok ok... I'll go do my homework!

A Rebuttal

Dec. 7th, 2005 09:23 am
mandy12052: (Default)
Thank you for finally admitting that you're angry with me. I don't think anyone else ever got the impression otherwise.

And when I say that your crazy is rubbing off on me, I'm not talking about the fucking bipolar. I'm talking about the fact that so many people come in and out of the house that I can't sleep anymore. It's not that once I fall asleep I get woken up, it's that I have trouble falling asleep to begin with. When I am surrounded by so many people that have a desire to be nocturnal, I start to get insomnia. I don't know why, but it adds to my stress because it means I only end up sleeping about 4-5 hours a night. In addition to that, news flash, you're not the only one who's lost a significant amont of weight over the past 6 months. If I lose much more weight I'll start to look emaciated. The point I'm getting at here is that the situation isn't good for my health. I've been sick more times this winter than I have in the last five years. At this rate I'll be dead by May.

Go ahead and say you haven't changed. To me, you have. I think you've finally started thinking about things you haven't wanted to for years, things that have been buried 50 feet below the ground floor of your psyche, and that it scares the hell out of you. But you'll never admit that to me. You don't talk to me and haven't for a while.

I know that you're stressed out about all of this, and I'm sorry for that. I can't help it. I can't live like this anymore (because for whatever reason things are different for me than they were last summer).

However, just because you're stressed doesn't mean that I'm not allowed to change my mind about certain aspects of the situation. And it's NOT CRITICISM for me to say that I don't want you to pack my things. It WILL be easier for me in the long run just to do it myself. But thanks for letting me know that you don't think I can reach that goal or get my shit done just because you will be gone. I didn't realize I was supposed to need you so much.

I could speculate all I want to about the ways you feel about this, or what you think of me, or exactly why you're angry. Not to mention everything I say to you or every request I make just turns into some huge personal attack on you as a person, at least in your eyes. But that doesn't matter.

What matters is our friendship, though I'm not sure there's anything left of it anymore. Which saddens me, in ways I can't express. There was far too long a time when you were the only real friend I had around this shithole of a town. But I can't really talk to you about any of that because it will just turn back to your anger at me for putting you in this horrible situation because I can't handle living with you anymore.

That's right, I CAN'T HANDLE IT. Because sometime in the middle of November I realized that if I stayed here much longer I would end up hating you to the point of never wanting to speak to you again. Which isn't your fault, it's mine. But I decided to change that situation, because I didn't want that. Sure, it took me a bit to decide that was truly the case, and you ended up noticing something was wrong and asking me about it before I could bring myself to turn to you and say something. And I'm sorry that you can't understand that and want to think I was being passive-aggressive. I'm sorry that you think I've been conspiring about this for months, because you and I both know that's bullshit. I'm sorry that you're well on your way to hating me anyway. Just remember, you're the one that made that choice.
mandy12052: (clover)
So I guess somewhere along the lines I mistook one of the due dates for the various papers I'm writing. Apparently one of them, which I thought was due tomorrow, isn't due until next Friday. Which is absolutely fabulous as far as I'm concerned. Because it means I can totally get away with going out tonight. Woot. In the meantime, however, I still want to write one more paper before I head off to the Oontz, so I'll go ahead and do that now.

BTW, for those of you that actually read the crap I put in here, sorry I haven't managed to write about much more than school for about two weeks now.
mandy12052: (nose)
So because I've hardly been on LJ for about two weeks, I was way WAY behind on catching up with reading the friends page. And now, two hours worth of reading under my belt, I have an inkling as to what's going on with all of you people. Yes, I said you people. With the hair.

Hmm... lots of stuff going on with me lately, but at this point I've been staring at the computer for like 3 hours and my eyes are starting to blur the text. Considering I have better than 20/20 vision, that's definitely not a good sign. I guess I'll go do homework or something else of a similarly responsible nature.

Expect a substantial post in the near future as I intend to return to updating on a regular basis.

"This has been a test of the WMND broadcast system. This is ONLY a test. We now return to our regularly scheduled programming."
mandy12052: (nose)
It's interesting to note how when something bad happens the people around you who you didn't think would care show that they indeed do. Recent events have me realizing that. More so than I ever thought possible I find myself surrounded by friends who genuinely care about me.

It's a beautiful thing.

And to those of you who have offered hugs, understanding, and your listening ears... I thank you from the bottom of my heart. It has made all of this much easier to bear. It feels wonderful to be valued as a person enough to receive the level of compassion which I have in the past several days.

I just want to express my appreciation.
mandy12052: (Default)
To those of you who missed me at air hockey: Sorry I didn't make it! And yes, I know it has been almost two entire days since this happened, and you have hence probably forgotten, but I still feel the need to make note.

Here's what happened: My friend Donnie called (some of you may know him from our friendly neighborhood Denny's) and we ended up going to dinner. At Trombino... much with the yummy Italian food.. Then we ended up hanging out afterwards. We would have gone to air hockey, but apparently he doesn't have an ID (there is a very long, elaborate story behind this which I can't remember enough to recount here). So we ended up just hanging out and listening to music.

So yes, I did have intentions of going to air hockey. I would not have said otherwise if I didn't have said intentions.

In other news...
1. I finished my damn research paper and turned it in. I think it turned out well. [ profile] cryptosporidosi suggests that if I really like it I should lengthen it and rewrite it for an honors undergraduate thesis. The idea tempts me. But I don't want to think about that until summer is actually here.

2. I actually have a rather good grade in my German class despite having missed so much of it. This does nothing to decrease my stresses about not being quite ready for the final.

3. Now have cable television with over 150 channels. I still can't bring myself to turn it on that often because I'm so accustomed to not having it around.

4. The current state of things with some of my friends has me worried.

5. My job has started scheduling me to host during the money-making shifts for serving. This SUCKS. I make about half as much money hosting, so I am rather stressed out. I feel like I'm broke, though I know I'm not. I need to talk to them about this.

6. [ profile] hannibalvail is interested in coming down here to see Hitchhiker's Guide on Saturday. Who else is coming?? [ profile] enthralled323 and [ profile] killbox, this means you!!! As well as anyone else who is inclined. There are no definite times yet, but probably sometime around 8 or 9. I will update as things become more apparent.

And I believe that is all. At least, it gets to be... I'm sick of typing.
mandy12052: (Bodies)
I did a lot today.

I called in to work for only the third time in about a year and a half. Why? You might ask. While I told the people at work that I had a "family emergency" and must drive to Farmington, this was not actually the case. The truth is, I'm a procrastinator. And hadn't finished a rather large bit that was due in my Shakespeare class today. Read more... )

On a slightly different note, in about 15 days time, someone from afar who is of the less flaky variety will be here. Woot for that!

For now, I sleep.


mandy12052: (Default)

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