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Feb. 18th, 2014 08:23 pm
mandy12052: (white)
[personal profile] mandy12052
You stare at the screen.
You click through the things.
You watch the TV, even a couple sad movies just to see if that will help the tears come.
You wait for the grief to come, and start to wonder if it ever will.

I've been told that "Maybe it just doesn't feel real yet."
I've been told that the "shock" will pass and things will sink in.
I've been told a lot of sympathetic words, but the tone is shallow from most mouths.

I don't know when it will happen for me, that moment of actualization.
Probably when I see my mother cry as we sort through the remnants of a life now passed, but that won't happen until summertime.

So I continue to focus on living, because that's what she would want.
Yet occasionally there are moments such as this one, where the inclination to reflect comes along.

I'm going to go stare at something else now.
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